REHEARSAL: Always schedule a ceremony rehearsal two days before the wedding. This will make everyone more comfortable at the wedding. I realize some people think it is bad luck for the bride to walk down the aisle before the wedding, but it is very important for her to get the "feel" of walking down the aisle with her father or escort, or meeting them partially down the aisle. It is also helpful to practice "passing the bride" from her father or escort to the groom, and how and when the declaration of "giving the bride away" is done. The response is sometimes a little confusing. I have always suggested either of these responses depending on the circumstances: "Her mother and I do" or "Her family does".

SECOND WEDDINGS/GETTING REMARRIED:
Here are a few guidelines: (but as long as you do not offend anyone, you can do whatever you want.) No bright white bridal gown (off-white or ivory shades are fine). The gown can be as formal or informal as she likes. No bright white invitations. Again off-white or ivory are more appropriate. There is no question "Who gives this bride ?" Her father can still escort her down the aisle, kiss her cheek, and place her hand in the Groom's hand. He then turns and sits down next to his wife. No blusher veil over her face, just a veil in back, or a headpiece. Any length she likes. Other than these few things, she can do anything else she likes, as long as it is in good taste, and does not offend anyone.

In general, you can go as formal, or informal as you like. You can have a full-blown church wedding, elope to some romantic destination, or have a quiet romantic wedding in your home.

There are several sites listed on the Main Wedding Links Page under "Vows, Readings and Poems for Ceremonies" that can help you with special wording for your ceremony.

THROWING RICE, BIRDSEED, BUBBLES, CONFETTI, ETC.: Most, if not all, establishments have banned the use of rice. Their reasons are both monetary as well as humanitarian. Rice is very difficult to clean up, especially if it gets wet from rain or the morning dew. It is also dangerous. People can slip and fall from stepping on rice.

Birdseed is a much better substitute. It has the same effect as rice, but is safer, less troublesome to clean up, and is environmentally biodegradable, plus the birds like it. You can still wrap it in tulle or netting and decorate it, or just pour some in some bowls for guests to pick up on their way out to shower your exit. The best birdseed to use is Finch seed, which you can purchase in a pet store. It has uniform beige seeds, and none of the larger black seeds. You can also experiment with coloring the birdseed to coordinate with your color scheme.

You can also use rose petals (dried or fresh), bubbles, or confetti. Just be sure to get approval from the reception location before you buy anything.

TIME SCHEDULE: When planning your wedding you should sit down and make a list of everything you will need for your wedding and schedule your time as efficiently as possible, to keep your sanity. In order to get the best prices and availability you should start planning six months to a year before the wedding. Make a wedding calendar and phone directory.

Choosing your wedding date (and possibly two alternate dates) should be the first thing you do, then confirm the date with your ceremony site and Officiant. Next confirm the date with your reception site and caterer. Now the fun begins...start shopping for the gown of your dreams (and your budget), then your attendant's gowns, tuxedos, flowers, music, photography, videography, etc....
Time Schedule Worksheet/Bride's Calendar
Also see Wedding Worksheets and Schedules

TUXEDOS: Shopping for the tuxedos can be very trying, since some Grooms are not always obliging. Start with the bridal magazines. Look through and tear out pages that show tuxedos that you like, then show them to him. You should place the order for the tuxedos at one - two months before the wedding.

Grooms look great in tails, but most of them refuse. They say they don't want to look like a penguin. Go to the tuxedo store with him to try on several different tuxedos. Have him try on a tail coat, just to make you happy. Explain to him that you aren't wearing the same gown as your bridesmaids, and he shouldn't wear the same as his attendants. He should stand out from them. Both of you should be dressed "special" on your wedding day, since you both are getting married. Show him how tailored the tail coats are, how slenderizing, how elegant. If you are having an informal wedding, then change his accessories to make him special. Possibly a different vest or cummerbund. If your bridal gown is ivory, make sure to order ivory shirts for the men. Take a swatch of your fabric with you to compare. If you are ordering ivory tuxedos or jackets, compare the swatch with the ivory color of the tuxedos.

Be sure BOTH fathers match in tuxedos. Too often everyone forgets about the Father of the Groom, and he shows up in a suit, and looks like the "poor side". Both fathers should be in a tuxedo since they will be together in pictures, and walk the aisle for everyone to see.

When you are ordering the tuxedos, be sure to ask for measurement cards for all of the Groom's attendants, ushers, ringbearer or page, and the fathers. Mail, or give, these to the attendants and fathers, and tell them to go to any tuxedo store for measurements, then return them to you. All tuxedo stores will gladly measure someone, even if they are getting their tuxedo elsewhere. It is a complimentary service they all offer. Also, be sure to rent shoes for all the men. It looks better in the pictures that they all match. Set up a pick-up date for two days before the ceremony, and insist that everyone try on their tuxedo when they pick it up, before leaving the store. Nobody is perfect all the time, and they may need to make alterations, since the measurements may have been taken elsewhere.

When you are at the tuxedo store, ask if they give discounts for wedding parties. Most will give the Groom's tuxedo for free with five other rentals. Some more, some less. Sometimes you can negotiate all the shoes for free, instead of the Groom's tux rental.

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